We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
