So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize