The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
