just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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