she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
