btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
