i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
