I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
