And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
