You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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