I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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