who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
