so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
