He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
is it fun? or sober?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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