So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
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It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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