Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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