Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
