Sponge bath it is.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
