Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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