i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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