dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
