he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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