People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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