Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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