My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
