Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
