you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
This is my gift to your gina
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Randomize
