I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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