am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
