Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
