so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
