He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
