Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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