went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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