dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
