Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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