so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Small penises have feelings too.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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