Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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