i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
All the doctor said was why
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
