It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize