Christians are straight up FREAKS
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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