I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Drake has all the answers
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
