Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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