I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
