Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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