How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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