hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
