if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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