he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
