Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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