its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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