I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
