One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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