Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
