You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
