You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I would ride that face into the sunset
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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