About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
