just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
