I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize