What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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